Treehouse Wall of Brilliance

Readers of the Conservative Treehouse blogsite may be tempted to forget some of the goofball things they’ve read there, or written there, in between the serious news and opinion.  I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.  Here are some of my favorites along with some of the more memorable wisdom over the past 8 months or so.  This is a continuing work, so expect embarrassing things to show up every now and then!

SundanceCracker: Balli! Balli! Balli! [I agree with whatever you say, just don’t behead me. – in Arabic]  /  “Honey, I’m taking the mini van to war”  Wife says: “How am I supposed to get the kids to their suicide vest fitting?!”  /  The check is missing within the “checks and balances”. Subsequently why would any administration fear lying when they know the lies will never be discovered, and even if discovered only a very small percentage of people would know the truth?  /  “Milo Gamgee-Took of Bywater” checking in.  /  You can’t fix stupid. Just can’t.  /  I DEMAND THAT FINCH RUN FOR OFFICE.  /  Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. [quoting Reagan] /This dude is off his humility meds or something…  He makes Obama sound like Ghandi…[on BOR]  /  If an elephant walks through your front yard, how many pancakes does it take to fill a canoe?  …I’ll never forget that lesson…. we drank many beers.  /  Time for a TEA Party revolt…. Taxation without feline representation will not stand !  /  I hope she makes him as unhappy as he makes us….  /  Obama Flied Chicken….. The Buckets are half white and half dark meat.  /  O’Donnell is the most ridiculous pontificator of stupid that ever actually survived from the planet of stupid pontificators.  /  I pray that in time a leader can really bring national attention to the insane selfish ideology that lies inherent within a Democracy, and then truely appreciate the magnificance of a Constitutional Republic.  /  Liberalism is a Mental Disorder. Period. !  /  “Do not eat.” [quoting stenciled warning on Claymore Mines]  /  So quit yer bitchin Princess Ann of Coulterville.  /  Walk around long enough with a one legged man and sooner or later you are gonna end up limpin’.  /  Whiskey Tango Fungus!  /  It really must be horribly sickening to be a Westernized egyptian living in that nation right now. I cannot imagine how horrific it would be to know the freedom you are going to lose and be so seemingly helpless to stop it. Hey,…… wait……  /  In the silence there is lying.  /  Many people mistakenly believe if they ignore what they witness they will be spared. The opposite is true. You cannot fight evil with complacency or ignorance. You must be righteous in the face of it and fight back with the strength of a loving God supporting you.

ButchCracker:  God is soo good…sleep not so bad too.  /  Might have to rename as “Tree Fort”.  /  Rough life!!!!!!!!  /  Can also remove the paint off your car!!!  Or someones,,,jus saying….. [about vodka]  /  I take my God very serious, and our country, so was emphasis, not yelling, but who can tell!

Ad rem: Apocalypse Meow???? These people are certifiable! (They’re just trying to deflect blame from the wind turbines to defenseless kittehs.)  /  We’re in Palos Verdes.  Water on 3 sides and Democrats on the other. [from HillBuzz]  /  I personally would like my next car to come equipped with one of those cute pink assault weapons.  /  I’m starting to get labor pains….  /  ♪”Voulez-vous coucher avec moi….mon chat?”♬ [How embarrassing]  /  Confession time. If you’re all wondering where yesterday’s Open Thread is, wellllllll….I accidentally deleted it.  /  Happy Anniversary a**hole! … 15 is big metal chickens!!! [quoting the Bloggess from “This Chicken will Cut You!”]  /  Godwin’s Law…..  /  The ‘Regime’ must be thinking….”so many crises…so little time.”  /  ‘Til the bar closes Gracie. I keep a low profile…under the table.  /  Now….go make those boys a bacon sammich!  /  Yeah….”Now with more gun!”….for that smoked flavor.   /  I dunno….it’s just all a blur of late nights and bourbon these days.  /  Should I go for the young zombie or the old zombie?  /  In Russia, kitten take cigarette from YOU! [channeling Yakov Smirnoff]  /  Now…I’d like to have a ‘Caffe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte’… go please.  /  Molon labe baby!!!  /  BTW Weed…..what have YOU done for the USO lately?  /  Did you catch the ginormous WTF look on Lewis’ face? He’s sayin’ to his pal in the ‘thug’ shirt….”F-ing stupid hippies!”  /  Lord…I think these poor f-tards have gone beyond bat-shit crazy. They’ve somehow found a way to roll the guano and smoke it!  /  Sigh….beyond brain-washing….we’re into steam cleaning here.  /  ….and the cow she rode in on. [Moose]  /  So far this isn’t a primary, it’s a coronation.

WeeWeed:  That’ll prolly go over like a whore in church.  /  Give me a hint – how do we pull for Cheeseheads – I don’t have a tin-foil Cheesehead hat….  /  OMG! I forgot The Avengers!!  Diana Rigg was All-That-And-A-Bag-Of-Chips. I wanted to be her.  /  I’m never quite sure if it’s just me…..!  /  As for me and my horses, we shall drink beer.  /  I seem to be Flora Loamsdown of Deephallow!  /  I KNOW that joint!  /  I don’t get insurance if I kill him.  /  Death Whorealdo is on, so someone’s dead.  /  Q: “Dad, where’d you put Mom??”  A: “Oh, she’s in the sacred ammo-box on the mantle, there….”  /  I’m saving my best emails for THEM. And attaaaaaaaaaaaack waaaaaaaaaaaaatch.  /  I jumped everybody!! Do NOT piss me off. Called some bitch one of the Dixie Chicks.  /  I’ve spread enough hate and discontent for one evening!  /  Geez, I hope nobody misses and shoots the dog.  /  If they call you a raaaaccissss, watch their eyes when you call them a pedophile.  /  Thanks, Walter Cronkite, you Dick!  /  Even in the beginning of the sphere we dwell upon, there was bacon.  /  I’m one of the official corrupt administrators of this deviant, underground website. As such, I do whatever the hell I want to. But you cannot. Sorta fascist, ya know? “If you’re reading this – you ARE the resistance.”  /  Leave the gun. Take the cannoli…  /  How does one sit normally with “bottom implants?” Seems like ya’d just kinda roll over.  /  You iz a sick bastid, Grunt!!! Funny, but sick…..  /  I’m………………verklempt…………….  /  I think his group is “Clan of the Leftist Butt Tamales.” [ref to a favorite Scottish troll]  /  LOL!! Looks like a hairdryer!! Vidal Kaboom!! [ref to a .50cal handgun]  /  Never even got that far…… Teddy on the left tit sent me to the porcelain godz….. YAKKK!!!  /  They shoulda called their post, “Teddy On My Titty.” We’d have all still looked. [ref to photoshop of Arlen Specter with Ted Kennedy tattoo on chest]  /  OMG!!!! Apply for a patent. We’ll be rich. (She said, seductively….)

Sharon:  And we are no longer a sovereign nation.  /  ssssshhhhhhhhh…..zippy probably doesn’t know about North Dakota being a state yet, and we don’t want him to know. He’ll start shutting the Bakken down. (We’re about 10 miles from the ND border. I was BORN in North Dakota…just across the border from the Montana side…so my siblings always teased me that I wasn’t a real Montana because they were all born at home. That stung, I’ll tell you. That stung.)  /  I think The Left is a federal offense. Can we arrest them?  /  I used to assume that threats of exposure would slow liars down. Not with these people.  /  That’s why God gave puddies two paws….for a double face-pawm.  /  I’ll write a check. umkay? [for the national debt]  /  Elderly white women (heart) Ted Nugent  /  I do not know pumpkin ale.  /  ’tis more than a lass can bear.  /  And the Apostle Paul said it first, “If any will not work, neither let him eat.” Nuff said.  /  The Roman Satirist, Petronius (first century AD) said this about why deception thrives: Mundus vult decipi; ergo decipiatur. Here’s the translation: ”The world wants to be deceived, so let it be deceived.”  /  In the battle between good intentions vs. unintended consequences….UC always win.  /  Just imagine Meeshell saying, “Now ya brang me ma cheez sausage Grease ‘n Fries in th’ infiled, y’hear? And ah want mah plate refiled (yes, “refiled”) every 7 minutes.”  /  You call that rapus-interruptus. [on Chris Dodd]  /  The groupy-ness; the clubby-ness; the 60′s liberalness seeding the smoking rooms; the 70′s/80′s “I’ma be a journalist and change the world” smell; the in-your-face Alinsky-stink; the I-have-power-and-you-can’t-stop-me; and finally, the obama’s-got-my-back unspoken and sickening arrogance. Absolutely an edumacation. Irresponsible unAmerican goons with authority and visibility. No wonder our nation is begin to scream. Finally.  /  Pigs flying by my window at this very moment. FDR having to dig out sweatshirts as the unfamiliar chill accelerates.  /  DWS is an Obama Stepford Wife. … Talk about an unpleasant windup doll. These people just are not normal, politically or otherwise.

YTZ4Me:  These people are ANIMALS.  We do not yield,  we do not bend,  we do not SUBMIT.  This is America.  The land of the FREE, because of the BRAVE.  THIS is personal for me.  /  But wanted to share the good news: “Liberty Guerrilla” post continues to grow in readership, so far has been linked by: The Blaze (Glenn Beck), Instapundit (Glenn Reynolds), Legal Insurrection (William Jacobsen), and Doug Ross (Lauren’s Links, Director Blue).  /  Noo-no-no !!  I’ve actually had to deal with the Code Pinkos, who used to routinely protest at the gate.  Trust me, you don’t want them giving up their clothes.  There’s a group that a burqua would actually IMPROVE.  /  You missed nothing. [To ZurichMike, when he missed something.]

AFinch:  Are you telling me that the most intelligent president ever and his party of the smart people couldn’t outsmart a bunch of rubes from flyover country? Well then maybe those rubes should be in charge.  /  iowahawkblog BREAKING: PALIN EMAILED PHOTO OF NUDE CHILD; “SONOGRAM SHOWS EVERYTHING” CLAIMS NY TIMES  /  Umm, is that photo they’re using [on HillBuzz of KD] with the article another cardboard cutout?  /  Yuck–don’t contaminate the Goose with the chocolate (and vice versa).  /  Those Williams boys sure have some demons don’t they?  /  He!!, I may even throw my hat in the ring somewhere. I think I at least qualify for dog catcher–though I’d probably just end up with a house full of dogs.

GracieD:  I’m Sweetpea Loamsdown!  Bless your heart. You are truly clueless.  You would be hard pressed to find a Leftist woman who can catch, clean. and cook her own dinner! I can!  /  The man has no soul. May the fleas of a thousand camels find his crotch,and may his arms be too short to scratch.

Stellap: He took a “medical leave of absence”?????  /  I’ll have to look for the giant animals in my area!  /  Did you know the founder of PETA is a diabetic and uses insulin, which is – an animal byproduct?  /  This made me laugh! Who would you rather see naked – Scott Brown or Elizabeth Warren?  /  Might be til hell freezes over? [on how long comments remain in moderation]  /  “Dude, your pants are on fire!” Actual word-for-word testimony at the trial of the underpants bomber today.  Bomber said he thought he would arrive in Heaven and, instead, he arrived in Detroit.  /  Bastards! [on Union/OWS extortionists wanting Robin Hood Tax]  /  I had a Gremlin – what a POS! Do you know that a cigarette light and a radio were both options on the Gremlin?  /  What a shithead.  [Jesse Ventura]  /  Do you realize that just today Coyote has been called Sweet Pea, Sugar, and now Punkin’?  /  “Do not go gentle into that good night.  Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” [quoting Dylan Thomas]

WaltzingMtilda: What would Walt [Disney] do?  /  OMG! Tammy Bruce just replied to one of my Tweets. I am…I don’t even know what all to say.  Which is actually kind of rare.  /  I actually have very serious and important thoughts on this subject, none of which I can post at the moment because of reasons I will not go into such as Coors Light.  /  DUDE. Aging hookers???? Good thing I had already finished my tea.  /  He just came upstairs and handed me a list of orders to call in to the pizza joint. I worked my butt off all day and now I have to do the cooking too???  /  All right, wiseazz.  Then I’m making you one of the most disgusting drinks known to man, a grasshopper!  /  What the hell is a Columbia Gorge? Sounds like it’s outside and possibly contains nature. I recommend you avoid.  /  Listen, motherf***er,…  /  Math is hard!  /  I suck at nature!  /  Am very, very disappointed in the internet right now.  /  Uh…was that out loud?  /  I will report this to the nearest moderator!  /  How dare you respond and react as a thinking person?  /  C’mon, I’m totally going to bed right now.  So make it quick…. OMG…that’s what she said.  /  So I’ve got that going for me. [quoting Bill Murray in Caddyshack, possibly without knowing it…]  /  Because I am a Conservative Bitch. And I WILL cut you.  /  Okay, so, just got back a bit ago from yet another planning meeting for the bridal shower from hell.  /  Ok, that’s fu*#ed up.  But I like it.  /  I had a Payday bar and a can of Coke instead.  I’m thinking maybe I should fib a little… [on her diet journal]  /  May I have your pawtograph?  /  Not me…I’m going for straight up indoctrination. [raising kids]  /  Oh, f*&k her. I love Zilla!!! She’s so awesome. [revised response after the Treehouse got snubbed by the 1st annual Zilla awards]  /  I admit nothing.  /  This is what I call a valid f*&king point.  Except I don’t say f*&king, because that would be cursing. Which is gross and wrong.

ZurichMike:  FABULOUS (and I rarely use that word — no, really!). /  I agree, G8rMom7, and color me just a little impressed that you know what that is. LOL! [on the term “beard”]  /  Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.  /  Please heave this galumping buffoon off the political stage.  /  Once or twice she wore something understated and elegant, but that’s the exception, not the rule for the First Gunny Sack.  /  Michele Obama, Aunt Esther, James Brown in drag. Is there a difference? Discuss.  /  It’s all about the pork fat.  /  It was hard to distinguish Michelle from Chewbacca, as the First Lady was wearing a strapless gown.

ITookTheRedPill:  These idiots don’t seem to understand that Cordoba was the capital of the CALIPHATE, and the goal of the Cordoba Initiative is to re-establish a world-wide caliphate.  /  Ann is filling the vacuum that has been left by the emasculation of males in this country. There are plenty of males, but so very few true men.  /  Santa Paws…Yeah, but when the cat decides he doesn’t want you to pet him anymore, he turns into Satan Claws…  /  And the victim of the crime of rape does not get healed of that hurt by becoming an accessory to another crime…  /  Everything about Obama’s (in)eligibility has been highly suspicious.  /  What would Putin do?

IAmDagny / Ann Barnhardt:  Satan is, at the end of the day, a coward, and so are his minions.  /  Please ignore them, and no, you may not touch them.  /  I’ve probably ticked even one or two of you conservatives off with this post. [understatement alert]  /  I am permanently disqualified from . . . pretty much everything outside self-employment.  /  Any woman who has a child at home already has a 168 hour per week job. It’s called “Mommy”.  /  I think I scare the piss out of them. And that is as it should be.  /  It is completely right, it is completely normal, and it is completely healthy to be afraid of things that are dangerous and present a threat to you. This is why I am afraid of muslims.  /  I love you too, but DO NOT show up here unannounced.  /  I cited the Treehouse on my list of top blogs at iOTW.  /  I’m very fragile like that. Just so you know. [wink]  /  Romney is about as much a conservative as Barbra Streisand. Romney is just prettier.  /  Woodchuck Hard Cider is the nectar of heaven. Light, bubbly, beer-like booze made out of APPLES. Dude. It’s like liquid pie.  /  I’m telling you, the stupid is STRONG with these people. What the hell kind of religion is built upon screwing over the diety? Oh, yeah – a “religion” that isn’t a religion at all, but a stupid, evil totalitarian political cult that uses faux-religious myths and motifs to control its cognitively damaged slaves. THAT kind of “religion”

Jennifer H:  Obama is a complete illiterate.  /  I can’t even watch him speak any more. Obama brilliant? Smart? – no, whoever started that myth is still laughing at the American Electorate.  /  I hate the left, what outright hypocrites and liars they are. [ok, this isn’t funny.  It’s just true and I like it.]  /  A covenant was broken here today, … the entire western world and the “rule of law” has been ‘Hiroshima-ed’ without even a peep.

Solaratov: Trust in G-d, but tie your camel tight.  /  And, to make your own vodka……..  /  Did anybody else notice that Frances Fox Piven looks an awful lot like a zombie?  /  Zombies? Head Shots!!  /  Laugh at their dependence on the ‘race card’. Never! Never! take their use of it as a serious subject. Laugh at them and ridicule them unmercifully.  In fact, the one “good” thing about a communist takeover would be being able to watch as all of the clowns like o’donnell ended up in front of a firing squad. They forget that the useful idiots are always the first to be disposed of as ‘inconvenient’, after the revolution.  /  Finally!! Scotch in a can!  /  If we have to live under communist rule, I’d rather have an actual MAN as dictator than the little boy.  /  Personally, I never trust air that I can’t see. /  Laws are for the commoners – NOT for one such as our usurper-in-chief.  /  Politicians are like rats. What they steal for themselves is miniscule compared to what they destroy in the process.  /  The politics as usual, go along to get along, watercress sandwiches and white w(h)ine spritzer crowd seems to find ol’ Mitt ‘conservative enough’ for their tastes. /  The only things you find in the middle of the road are a yellow stripe and dead chickens. [quoting Margaret Thatcher]

TNWahm:  Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. -Irish Proverb  / I’m Rosie Danderfluff.  /  A group of us always went to the “Golden Arch Supper Club.”  /  Here is a video of my worship pastor and his family. They were driving down the freeway in Memphis and a snake came up out of their hood.  /  I’ve often thought that Palin was the Esther of our time.  /  Why do people say “grow some balls”?Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina….Those things can take a pounding. [quoting Betty White]  /  “When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional and now it’s legal.  I’m getting the hell out before Obama makes it mandatory.” [quoting soldier friend]

Garnette:  First of all, why is it that the bullies are crying the loudest about how horrible bullying is?  /  Reminds me of the Tucker, except that car was before its time and this one (Chevy Volt) seems to be one that was created by committee.  /  To me that is the problem, the C level make short term decisions to make themselves look good without regard to the long term future of a company and then move on to another company to do the same thing for a bigger paycheck.

MRM:  Well I will go on record as saying that I like you guys a lot better than many people I have actually met!! (points finger at libs down the hall at the office)  /  He’s like a parody of Frazier! without the humor. [on BOR]  /  Those are some dead, soul-less eyes. [BHO]  /  I still wish Donald Trump would start a network…maybe the Koch brothers…..? now that would be fun!  /  I didn’t know until tonight that Steve Jobs was adopted. Just think what the world would have missed had he been aborted instead.  /  His constant presence is NOT helping with my Øbama Induced Tourettes (@#$%^%&(%#$#!!!)

ZMalfoy:  Mind you, He’s not a tame lion . . .[on Aslan, at the HTR]  /  Someday, my prince or lesser noble will come. Until then, I’ll have to keep my wits and knives sharp.  /  oh, yeah. The pastiness gives me away as a Celt. But, if I got a spray tan and learned the language, I could pass. I do like tacos. . .  /  Well, Lame cherry has a rep for being. . . opaque.  /  Deo gratias quod Dies Veneris est!  /  In places where everclear is illegal,…  /  I got a tinfoil stetson, fedora, beret, clonche and a top hat. Which do you prefer? ~_^  /  Yes, I suppose that makes me a female chauvanist piggy. I accept this. I like the shape of men. I blame God.  /  In times to come, I suspect that this era will not be known as the “Information Age”, but the “Age of Deceit.”  /  You don’t mess with the nuns. . . most hardened criminals even know that. . .

Auntie Lib:  Put me down as Lily Bramble of Willowbottom. What a hoot. I guess these are our noms de guerre, right?  /  What a great thread! Sure wasn’t expecting exposes on wines, vodka, other miscellaneous spirits, and the talents of conservative women all smushed into one conversation when I clicked on “Move”. In my world “move” is a four letter word.  /  Hank Johnson is the perfect description of “Ineptocrat”.  /  We have a fight ahead of us, kids.

Patriot Dreamer:  Some men just want to watch the world burn. [quoting Alfred from Batman – from HT]  /  I’ve watched “V”, and they don’t care about globull warming!  /  Bourbon + bacon. What’s not to like??  /  He sure seems awful blood-thirsty to me. What happened to all the rainbows? [on BHO]  /  Awww, he was so poor. [also BHO]  /  Wonder if those on The Spew will be talking about who can use the n word vs. who can’t again today. Sheesh!  /  It’s the most open and transparent Administration evah!  /  If you took the Intercontinental railroad, how long would it take you to get to Asia from North America?  /  Are you epantsipated from your electronic devices yet?  /  I guess the price of broccoli is “too damn high!” [in NYC, like the rent!]  /  I prefer my double-dip to be chocolate chip! [on DD recessions]  /  BACON! (Goes great with guns & coffee!)  /  If Progs. didn’t have double standards, they’d have no standards at all.  /  All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.  /  Is it just me or is that a creepy pic at Drudge right now of Voldemort? [ref to Obama]  /  Where are Super Genius Wile E. Coyote’s transcripts? What is he hiding?  /  Tolerance apparently is a one-way street. [with liberals]  /  Separation of church and state … except when they do it.  /  I tried to get you the day off for my birthday. Did it work? [to another Army civil servant, on PD’s birthday, which also happens to be MLK day (I think it worked)]  /  The really sad thing is that the GOP will go all out against one another but not against the Dems. They are their own worst enemy.

Menagerie:  Am I the only person who reads low brow crap? [at HTR]  /  The first time I read the Bible through, I thought the Isrealites were really thick headed and the Pharisees and Sadducees were really dumb. Second time, I thought “I have done some of those things.” Third time I thought “I am a pharisee”. [at HTR]  /  Do we have a corporate jet yet?  /  Jack was declared the world’s best selling whiskey, a record due in some significant way to my family.  /  Alas, due to the rigors of parenthood, and the resulting strain on the family budget, successive members of the family cannot as accurately trace their conception to this blessed amber liquid.  /  I also had an employee with a mullet once.  /  He’s [Obama’s] not worth $38.50.  /  Does anyone else have tupperware (Mine’s mostly Dixieware – that would be butter bowls) that reproduces? You stack it in the cabinet, close the door, walk away, and apparently the little party starts. The next time you open the door, there is more there than there was, and it is fallen over drunk. Maybe I better check my Jack…  /  Every day we influence people and maybe we never even know it.  /  How I hate that term. [progressives] It really reflects that they know the evil they do, and actively try to couch it in phrases that sound so much better than the truth, which is “It’s all about me, baby! Move aside.”  /  I never doubt the quantity of stupid people, nor their capacity to act illogically.  /  Yeah, [my recipes] all start with “consume one glass of jack”. Really.  /  It is very cold here, and I have a bedroom full of retrievers.  /   I might know two people who got in a fight over a pan of gravy with a butcher knife and a meat cleaver. You just don’t bring a butcher knife to a meat cleaver fight when gravy is involved.  /  IMO, the words beautiful and leopard print do not belong in a sentence together.  /  What if we get a reality show in the Tree? Treehouse Wives…and the Dude? Lost in the Tree? Conservative Survivors? We will all be famous and rich.  /  “I am your mom. Your argument is invalid.” [quoting a very wise woman]  /  We have a saying here on Whiskey Ridge. If you won’t shoot your family, who will you shoot? [to protect your liquor]  /  Your superiority needs work.

PhillyCon:  Woo-hoo! Sometimes, the truth works like garlic against lies, distortion, and hypocrisy. [from HT]  /  Let me guess, Cowgirls, right? [to ElvisChupacabra]  /  … ignore the usual hateful, Lefty comments section.

Bijou:  Slam, Bam, Thank you, cute salesman!  /  Girls just wanna have…shopping!  /  Cholesterol be DAMNED!  /  BO (as usual) misunderestimated the mood of the people, in SPITE of the fact that the Dims got “shellacked” (his word) in November.  The people are mad as hell and they’re not going to take this BS any more.  /  I’m not clicking…that’s the most annoying video in existence.  KILL IT! Kill it with FIRE! [on RB Fri]

Freedom1781:  Ridiculous. Everything will eventually be a federal offense.  I hate the color orange, can we make wearing orange a federal offense? Oh, and I HATE when people pass gas in public, can we make that a federal offense? How about belching? That should be a federal offense. Let me drink a Coke and eat a banana and I could be arrested for loud public belching. Hey, what about eye rolling…Guilty!! Arrest me now!!  /  LAMO!! Y’all are giving me giggle fits!!!  /  Asked about the timing on Wednesday, press secretary Jay Carney said, “It is coincidental.”  Bullshit!

Wraith:  F*#% that. The truth is what it is, whether or not we wish to acknowledge it.  /  So she’s not running. It was never about one person. It was always about Freedom, Faith and Flag. I still love Governor Palin for all she’s accomplished, and I’m not changing my avatar either(so there. :p ).  /  I can’t prove that Matt[Drudge] and Mitt[Romney] are engaged in a secret and passionate affair involving darkened rooms in cheap motels, amyl nitrate, Wesson oil and possibly a goat…but that’s the rumor.  /  So when, exactly, do the adults stop listening to the fools and take back control?

RedGrandma:  Can we put to bed once and for all the myth of the “moderate muslim”?  /  My oh my. Someone should side by side these pics with the bright eyed, fresh faced, CLEAN Tea Party “extremists” “hobbits” “racists”. [On Occupy Wall Street Vermin]  /  The arrogance of the young who think they invented wasteless living through their phony green thing.

Otis P. Driftwood:  A representative from Israel began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, “What a good opportunity to have a bath!”  Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!  The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, “What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren’t there then.”  The Israeli representative smiled and said, “And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.”  /  It’s not ebonics – just ‘bonics.

GFCInThatOrder:  AH forgiveness is the most powerful tool in the world! And asking for it is even better.  /  STFU and go hide under a bush somewhere and you only got some lime light off the backs of your parents anyway and we don’t want to hear any of your great “wisdom”. [on Meggy McCain]  /  As I always say to my kids, ”it’s the loaded girl that kills ya”.  /  I mean, if you are a female and promote islam, you are missing more than a few marbles.  /  After all, would I be outta line if I said Hitlerism with an “S” in front of it?  /  I take hope in the fact that the world, for the majority part, hates US, but hated He who came before US first.

G8rMom7:  The conference was great except I was scared to death when a bunch of the details of the Todd-Frank bill were revealed.   / I would probably start crying if I ever met her…like she’s the Beatles or something and it’s 1966. [about Sarah]  /  I’m a goofball.  /  What is so funny is the 37 million they talk about killing are the ones who have guns…and lets face it, these guys are wusses…I can’t imagine one of them going to Ted Nugent’s farm to try and kill him…good luck with that lametard.  /  Thankfully, their votes are just for show and I run a benevolent despotism in my house. But still…I wonder what color the sky is in their world.

NM Pancho / El Coyote: She’s in a rough spot…between a barack and a hard place.  /  I’m going to go kick skunks…  /  A man lives by believing something: not by debating and arguing about many things. [quoting Thomas Carlyle]  /  He had the chair-side manner of a drunk mechanic who just got done fighting with his wife, but he fixed my jaw and teeth really good.  /  Social Engineering is for…uh…like socialists and stuff.  oh…and commies.  /  We are being swindled. Hard.  /  RECALCULATING….!  / If you say “Jesus” backwards, it sounds like you are saying “Sausage”.  /  Ann is nothing but shrill krill swimming in an ocean of self-enamor. [on Ann Coulter, after the meltdown]

ElvisChupacabra:  John Page wrote a letter to Thomas Jefferson (July 20, 1776), in which he stated: “We know the Race is not to the Swift nor the Battle to the Strong. Do you not think an Angel rides in the Whirlwind and directs this Storm?”  /  Really… I’m not sure the America of 2011/2012 deserves Sarah Palin.  /  Me and my sweet bride of 34 years eloped and married simply…sat us out on the patio covered with a candelaria roof, illuminated by those ubiquitous yellow “bug lights”. With a bottle of Carte Blanca beer, the check came to less than 5-bucks.  /  Gig ‘em Big Metal Rooster!!  /  It’s ironic that in order to succeed with Cloward-Piven, the very ‘capitalists’ who will be destroyed will fund the Manchurian Candidate’s hoped-for reelection.   /  I can see it now. The Red Phone rings… it’s Soros.  “Tell ze vife I need an optic, now! She must shop at Target. I need ze stock to drop so I can buy ze control!”  /  I wonder if they had to sedate those kids so they wouldn’t ask him any tough questions. You know, like, “My daddy runs a business. Have you ever run a business?” Or, “How many states are there?’ Or, “What language do they speak in Austria?” Or, “If Keynesian economics has been such a failure, why does your administration continue to adhere to its tenets?” Or, “If a train left Pittsburgh heading west at 45 miles-per house, and train left Cleveland heading east…”  /  She’s batsh!t crazy, perfect for the modern Democratic Party. [on Queen Sheila]  /  Fiction must conform to some element of probability, yet real life is under no such constraint. [quoting Mark Twain]  /  Corzine was a corrupt POS when he was governor, and he’s a corrupt POS still.  /  After all, what have Progressives EVER done besides fu*k sh!t up? You know, like the Constitution, for starters.  /  They say man is a social creature, but I think we need solitude to get to know that person inside all of us. Only when faced with ourselves, unhindered by the accoutrements of the world we’ve created for ourselves, can we meet and come to terms with the person we really are.  /  “Son, it’s that unloaded gun that kills you!”….Our Dad

Barnslayer:  Resistance to tyrants is obedience to God. [quoting T. Jefferson]  /  This would have been a perfect Napalm moment.  /  Hey Roseanne… every day you make Tom Arnold look smart.  /  The too polite, please everybody, high road got us screwed on both occasions.  /  You have many issues, that is obvious. I disagree with your tirade therefore I am an idiot. I’m fine with that. Why do you bother with this site? Read the posts regarding the various topics. See any name calling or vitriol? There are lots of like-minded intolerant intellectuals for you at the democratic underground. [best troll response, evah!]  /  Parasites attempting to kill their host. [on OccuPussies]  /  Sounds like he’s making a verbal down payment on a trip to GITMO. [on Leo Gerard]  /  The only thing Biblical about Pelosi is the fact that she speaks through the jawbone of an ass.  /  The double standard has become the gold standard. It belongs in the American Standard. (toilet joke. sorry, couldn’t resist).  /  Thank those wild and crazy Mennonites. Work hard, play hard. [On the naming of Intercourse, PA]  /  Give em’ each a ham sandwich and a glass of Manischewitz.

Texan59: What kind of club do you have to join to find all of these wackjobs?  /  You are a brave man Grunt. Maybe not so smart, but you are brave!!  /  Hell hath no fury like a (news)woman scorned.  /  Gracie – your past means nothing to these people. They can find fault with Mother Teresa.  /  I have never heard a professional politician sound like a petulant 13-year old child. [O’Bozo]  /  About the only thing I would like for these lost souls to pass would be a kidney stone.  /  Please remember that arguing with an idiot is somewhat like teaching a pig to sing.  “Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”  /  Besides, I don’t think they have a finger wave for – OW, that sh!t hurts!!  /  Kinda reminds me of Grapes of Wrath at this point. [on the Texas drought]  /  The libtards should open up a pretzel shop.

JRD:  Wall Street has morphed into a debt creating monster. One that pushed for more and more spending on the part of government so that banks could make more money. It’s a never ending cycle…  Wall Street bought and paid for Obama. He was their boy. [at HTR]   /  I’d wear one of those hats before I wore any of the outfits Brunhilda Øbama wears any day. You couldn’t even catch me in a coffin dressed in any of Mooch-Hell’s clown clothes, just sayin.  /  You will be very pleased to know that my response drew a crowd and I got a round of applause. The spirit of freedom is alive in south Florida, Amen!  /  And after losing a valiant general like Andrew [Breitbart] yesterday we should all take an oath in his honor to walk through the gates of hell carrying a gas can to get this warthog elected! I know I have. Willard, the crybaby Boehner, and Murkowski’s buddy McConnell are all rats. I want to live in Realville not Ratville.

Gino:  Of course, like all American famiies they are the beneficiaries of a half million dollars in bank stock, have a million dollar home in Chicago and have friends that buy the buffer zone between their house and the abutters for a purchase price in excess of a 100K and then convey the property back to the Obama in a trust. [On the Poooor Obamas]

Ms. Tee:  I generally keep to myself when the fellas get into their political talk but I couldn’t let that type of false info go unchallenged. Plus, I know it really needles them to hear that kind of a rebuke from a youngish woman of color. hah!  /  I have to give dude the “side eye” on this one; he comes across as incredibly “b*tchy” and bitter. There’s nothing worse than a man whining about a woman…  /  Please tell me that you smacked that kid in the mouth!  /  Ok, which one of you snitched and gave the Romney campaign my number?! Dude’s called me twice in the last two hours. I just hung up on Chris Christie!

Michelle Hart:  I actually had to put gas in the masserati on top of everything else…GOD I HATE BEING POOR!!  /  Welcome to reality you tard!! [to the Wookie]  /  Honey it takes a lot of money to look this cheap!  /  But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

Ivan Yurkenov:  The Obamas are mercurial, and the truth is immutable, and neither the twain shall meet.

Zauber:  May the schwartz be with you.  /  Good old Orin: Never count your Hatch until he chickens.  /  Zeez papers expired three veeks ago, you haf to come along.  /  Obama, in 2012, will not only sell out the Afghan people to the Islamic fundamentalists but for a short time when Aghanistan is in stasis post-surrender he’ll get to look like the Great Peacemaker here just in time for his November coronation.  /  If they ever open a Disneyland in the mid-East DO NOT take your kids.  /  Geez, a whole new aspect to national Talk Like a Pirate Day. Anyone know how to say “Avast ye infidel servants of the Great Satan” in Iranian or Somali?  /  Well, I did shoot a vacuum cleaner and a briefcase with an unloaded gun I was cleaning, but it was in self defense.  /  Fat chance there, but you keep trying to hammer that camel through the needle’s eye.  /  I await the next decade of national politics with anticipation and a lot of cold beer.  /  Michelle! Be quiet and get back in the limo!

Avram:  This humanoid’s [Jack Lew] appointment is another sign — as if more were needed — that they are doubling down on their path, which is an odious combination of Chicago-style corruption, crony capitalism and 60s style Marxism. Their motto? Psychopaths of the world, unite!

French Reader:  O’Donnell just sounds like a nazi puppet to me. Who pays him to express so much hatred ? [on Scary Larry]  /  And as more and more average people, I don’t like what Europe is becoming, with politics, rules and goals that I DO NOT AGREE WITH which are forced on us by some greedy super power whoses members gather somewhere in Brussels/Strasbourg.  /  By the way, I don’t think his inadequacy has something to do with growing up in Hawaii or even Indonesia.

Shalini:  But if it makes you feel better, it’s part of female psychology. We tend to disbelieve often simply because we feel the need to be told otherwise more often. [I knew it!]  /  Oops! It’s 3 AM here!!! I better go to sleep now though I feel like a little kid who believes adults are going to have fun after I’ve gone to sleep!!  /  God bless you all, lovely people! /  But swift was God’s help. Always.  /  Christianity isn’t about being nice to each other.  /  Weird, how truth, sometimes considered to be a friendship repellant, always shows you who can be really considered good friends.

Good Kathie:  Quick! Spit it out!!! [ref to an “Obama Cookie” with a bite out of it]  /  And I’m sure everyone noticed how quickly and piously Hillarity jumped on our Marines… [during the dustup over the Marines urinating on enemy corpses]

Howie:  The American Press and Media looks to me like a vast Witness Protection Program for Barack Hussein Obama.

GruntOfMonteCristo:  If Ad rem leaps from a falling tree in the forest and sinks her jungle cat-like claws into the scalp of a terrified Politico journalist, is she still cute?  /  I don’t know, W2. Sounds kinda like a naughty hobbit barmaid name. You been hanging out at the Pony in Bree too much?  /  I checked [the hobbit name generator] for BHO, and it came up “Sauronus BastoMorte Douchebottom.” Weird.  /  Woulda been a lot simpler if O’Basterd had just sent SEAL team 6 after Bill and Bernardine!  /  Yes, she dropped by to unwind for some pinot and blackberry pie after doing a local radio show. She almost pulled her 9mm on our new asst pastor, though. I’ve GOT to remember to ask for her pistol when she comes in the door.  /  Well, expect Ad rem to take a 4-letter word and turn it into sweetness and light. Kinda like the anti-Obama.  /  What am I gonna use? John Frum and the cargo cults of SouthEast Asia?  /  NOW you’re playing the game right.  Whaaaa??  What the hell is this?  Green snot over ice?  All I can say is, you’re a terrible bartender, Tilda.  Just sayin’.  /  Not sure what that is, but I think it’s gonna hurt! Gonna need some Bourbon, stat!  /  So many Elvises, so little pumpkin ale…  /  Hey, that lizard is bifurcating that perfectly good porcine skin being! Save some for us!  /  Hmmmm. Reservatrolls. Are those the “backup” trolls that swing by for months doing drive-bys after we’ve chased away the primary trolls?  /  TreeTV, Smoking Gun(needs no alteration), World’s Dumbest President, Hawaii Five-7, How I Met your Blogger, Band of Bloggers, CSI: Ringgold(True Crime investigations of idiot liberals who stray up the “ridge of death”) [suggesting TreeHouse TV shows]  /  Hey, if it weren’t for hijacked threads, we’d have no threads at all!  /  But if I give you the money, how do I know you’ll really spend it on booze and not on comic books or anime plushies?

SJ Reidhead:  This is some of the sickest stuff I’ve seen in a long time. [I just put her in here because I think it’s funny that any twisted person would think that the Treehouse is somehow a “sick” place.  Always thought this could be our motto.  Naaaaahhhhhh.]

The Admiral at Lake Minnetonka Liberty:  It’s a bunch of self-righteous, humorless idiots with blue blood running in their veins that take themselves way too seriously. Stuffed shirts.  Yeah, that goes for some of you whiney little girls at The Conservative TreeHouse.  [Again, sounds just like us, no?]


About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Conservative Treehouse. Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Treehouse Wall of Brilliance

  1. stellap says:

    I’ll have to be more clever in future! This is funny!

  2. texan59 says:

    This is awesome. Thanks.

    • My pleasure, Tex. You guys are like the Daniel Craigs of blogging.

      • texan59 says:

        It is so funny that you put up a picture of the current Bond. Many times have I been told that we look nearly alike. The only things different are – the accent, the hair, his lack of a beer belly, and my vehicular tranportation system is not anywhere near as cool as his. Other than that, we’re nearly twins!

  3. Ad rem says:

    I KNEW IT!! I knew somewhere someone was keepin’ a record of every #*&@$#* thing I ever said! This only goes to prove that Steve Jobs really was working with NASA.

  4. MRM says:

    Oh my gosh – that was fun! Aren’t you just the cutest! (are we absolutely certain that you’re not keeping score and taking names for Barry & Co. though?) 8)

  5. AFinch says:

    Hilarious (and a little embarrassing).

  6. AFinch says:

    Hey, I think Fred deserves a spot over here. He’s a smart one.

    BTW, I’ve been watching that new Cazievel series. Love it!

    • Very cool! I’ll check it out. At first, Michael Emerson kept me from seeing it, since I’m still a little gun-shy from Lost, which ultimately was a disappointment, but I’m getting over it. Since two of the Lost actors ended up on Hawaii Five-O, which more than lives up to Lost’s promise, I think I’m ready to move on!

      Nice work with Fred, BTW. I’m glad you chimed in on that thread. Really good info!

  7. Heh…this is pretty awesome.

  8. texan59 says:

    I have some Krispy Kreme’s, or Bud Light. Which would you prefer? My profound apologies!!

  9. Sharon says:

    This is so great, Grunt! That’s just fun seeing the edgy stuff (or what we try to pass off as edgy) all in one read! Thanks.

    • Did you notice that your quote from today got in there? Sorry there’s only a small selection from your vast life work, nothing from MBAOB, emmajeri1010 is not mentioned, etc. It’s a continuing work! Feel free to point out a particular favorite that I’ve forgotten, and I’ll post it.

      • Sharon says:

        I did! Your turnaround time is a thing to be admired. On some days, I’m not so sure my vast life work should even be preserved, much less repeated. 😉

  10. zmalfoy says:

    I don’t generally get the time to go to many blogs during the day, but had some time today to peruse Treehouse Affiliates. Love the blog, Grunt, and this post means I’ll have to try a lot harder to come up with stupendously witty things to write ^__^!

  11. ZurichMike says:

    These are HILARIOUS! I had forgotten the rapid-fire wit of my fellow Treepers!

  12. Shalini says:

    Sauronus BastoMorte Douchebottom.

    LOL!!! Mine is Esmeralda Foxburr of Loamsdown or Fair Downs depending on what I give as my last name. I think mine must be the best hobbit name!! I am sure of it! 😀

  13. Anti-Socialist says:

    Really nice compilation
    I like it !

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