Suddenly the News Monkeys Are All About Specifics

What? You’re not interested in asking Donald Trump what his favorite ice cream flavor is? That question’s not on your little note pad this time?

Because you all were so diligent at prying the specifics out of Hillary and Barack and Elizabeth and Debbie and … What DID Debbie end up saying was the difference between the Democrat Party and The American Socialist Party? I didn’t catch that. Did you guys go to commercials again???
091915
Cartoon from Chris Muir.

Some Things We Know More Specifics About Than Hillary’s SecState Accomplishments:
1. The location of Atlantis.
2. How to please a woman.
3. Whether there’s life on Mars.

Some Things We Know More Specifics About Than Who Gave the Benghazi Stand Down Order:
1. The location of Amelia Earhart’s last unreturned library book on navigation.
2. The location of Sean Penn’s brain.
3. The exact amount of dark matter in the universe.

Some Things We Know More Specifics About Than Why, Exactly, Lois Lerner Is Not In Prison Right Now:
1. The contents of the great library of Alexandria.
2. The list of foreign objects that have been in Lena Dunham’s vagina.
3. The identity of the guy smuggling all those Hitler videos out of the bunker.

Some Things We Know More Specifics About Than Exactly Why Barack Calls So Many Secret Meetings With Members of The Press and Muslim Leadership: (Perhaps I repeat myself)
1. Whether it’s possible to go faster than the speed of light.
2. Whether it’s possible to drink more vodka than Rosemary Lehmberg and not die.
3. Whether the Earth goes around the Sun, or whether everything really orbits Kim Kardashian’s ass.

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Media Whores. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Suddenly the News Monkeys Are All About Specifics

  1. freedom1781 says:

    News monkeys. Heh. Love it!

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