Jump in the Way-Back Machine with me and go back exactly 50 years to October 30, 1965 in Melbourne, Australia. The world was scandalized when English supermodel, Jean Shrimpton, attended Derby Day at Flemington Racecourse wearing a white dress with a hem that was a full 4 inches above her knee! She was actually derided at the time, but within hours she was copied by practically every young woman in the world. Eventually, of course, it became a race to see just how little clothing women could wear in public without being arrested.
Well, today we’ve pretty much found out just how far that can go. If there’s a limit, I’m not really sure what that might be in 2015. Nipples are enthusiastically peeking out all over the place. And skirts, if you can call them skirts as opposed to fairly wide belts, don’t really cover anything, do they?
And here’s something interesting. The NY Post reports that the latest thing is for women to get “labia reduction surgery” to “look good in their yoga pants.” Or, as the Post explained for one Manhattan woman:
The striking model, who asked for her last name not to be used for professional reasons, underwent the surgery in September, because she was self-conscious about the size of the labia minora (inner lips) of her vagina.
She is among a growing number of women signing up for labiaplasty to reduce the size and “enhance the appearance” of their private parts, especially when they’re wearing tight-fitting clothes such as workout gear.
So, let me see if I got this straight. Yoga pants, which are not really pants, haven’t caused any scandal, even though they often show the contours of the inside of your mom’s vagina in public. Since, after all, women love them, so they have declared them APPROVED, though even many men consider them to be “too much,” or rather “too little.”
I’m one of those men, actually. Don’t get me wrong. I love the female form. A LOT. I love to see that form playfully displayed by dresses that show off that form. And even nudity has its place in art and proper drunken table dancing. But in a civilized culture, showing off the shape of your labia, which may or may not need trimming, in public, doesn’t really serve any rational or aesthetic purpose. Last time I checked, women frowned upon me wearing tight gym shorts that caused my testicles to fall out. Gym shorts are generally lose and baggy, you know, for a reason. Dresses were traditionally designed with the same utility in mind, even when they only go down to within 4 inches of the knee. Call me a prude. Call me a fashion idiot. But I don’t really get it. I guess, “You’ve come a long way, Baby.”