Monday Public Safety Challenge: What’s Wrong with These Pictures?

First Picture Set: Here’s an easy one just to get you in the right mindset.  There are 3 things wrong here that can be a threat to public safety.  Can you identify them?

Forensic

  1. Even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this model, or how she looks, she is clearly about to get in the driver’s side of what looks to be a Dodge Charger.  In most Asian countries, that, alone, would be a huge threat to public safety, and in Saudi Arabia: illegal.  In America, it’s mainly a threat because, as you can see in the first photo, her dress is so tight around her calves that she has a max ankle separation of about 4 inches.  The Charger generally doesn’t have a clutch, but even with an automatic, two-foot acceleration and braking is quite dangerous.
  2. She’s going driving with an iPhone, but no keys.  Letting Siri drive is a clear threat to public safety, especially if you have Siri set up with the Asian Woman voice.  (Kidding!)
  3. The first rule of safe driving is that you always wear clean underwear.  It promotes a cool and confident attitude, and lessens embarrassing distractions for the EMTs should you find yourself on the side of the road after an accident or detained by police.  This woman is clearly not wearing any underwear of any kind.  At all.

Second Picture Set:  Ok, let’s get serious. What’s wrong with this picture?

00006

Obviously, the problem is that these two convicted bomb-making terrorists, for some reason, have not yet been executed for their crimes, are not in prison and, in fact, are free to roam the streets, encourage anti-free speech protests against Republican candidates for President, influence how our children are being taught in school and write imaginary memoirs for the current Communist President of the United States.  Armageddon will probably be hastened as a result.

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Humor, Political Crime Families, Politics, Terrorism. Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Monday Public Safety Challenge: What’s Wrong with These Pictures?

  1. woodsterman says:

    Safety first! Grab the babe and send the two communists to Syria.

  2. Zilla says:

    I’d rather take the risk of the bimbo on the road than have the terrorist bombers anywhere near me or mine. Odds are better for getting out of a bad driver’s path of destruction than that of two bombers, I think. Probably better odds for surviving a wreck from a bad driver than surviving terrorists’ bombs, too.

  3. Hardnox says:

    After carefully studying the top photos I can pronounce with professional authority and confidence that absolutely nothing is wrong. Her perfect proportions will guarantee that she will be able to safely operate the vehicle especially without constricting underwear. She was checking her Iphone for directions which proves she is a responsible driver. Lastly, she is a gift of nature and should be revered accordingly.

    On the other hand, the bottom photo has a number of things wrong:
    1) the swine are smiling.
    2) the swine are free.
    3) the swine are alive.
    4) the swine have tenure.
    5) the swine have influence on the young.
    6) the swine are close personal friends with important people.
    7) the swine are still alive.
    8) the swine are communists.
    9) the swine hate America.
    10) the swine are still alive.

    • Correct on all counts, and I’m pissed about number 10 in that list about the swine. There’s no excuse for these terrorists still breathing air. You’re also right about the top photos. I was mostly kidding about there being any threats. 🙂

      Oh, BTW, I was thinking of posting this at Hardnox&F, but I didn’t want to be any more a jerk than I’ve already been with the ladies there. Do you think anyone would have a problem with it? Thanks!

  4. Chana says:

    Um, even *I* (Chana) did not examine that model’s clothes *that* much. I think you’re scrutinizing random women too much. What would Wife say?

    • So, you didn’t believe the bit I told Zilla about how this WAS my wife? Zilla believed me. I think.

      Gruntessa knew my interests were solely the public safety aspects. And possibly the engineering aspects of anti-gravity cocktail dress design. Also, she got a good laugh at me being such a dork.

      Besides, don’t give me that crap, Lady. I know your hubby, Yitzchak, is scoping out those Bar Rafaeli billboards up in Haifa. Don’t deny it. 😉

      • Chana says:

        Actually, I wrote that comment before I saw your comment to Zilla. But I pressed “publish” anyways, because no, I didn’t really think it was Gruntessa.

        Hey, as long as she knows and is okay with it, who am I to interfere? And yes, you are a dork – there are better ways to prove the same thing.

        Bar Refaeli looked nicer as a teenager. Today she just looks like any other awfully-made-up model.

        And in answer, Yitzchak doesn’t know who Bar Refaeli even is. I mentioned that she was throwing a lot of money away on a wedding when both parties had been wed before and he says, “Who’s Bar Refaeli?” And I said, “You’ve never heard of Bar Refaeli??” And he said, “No, who is she?” And then I had to explain….awkward….Oh and he (we) never get up to Haifa. Too far.

        :LOL

        • Holy smokes. Yitzchak is a better actor than I thought! LOL! Kidding! But you’re right about me being a dork. And right about that not really being my wife. Gruntessa does wear lots of sexy dresses, however, and I tell her frequently how beautiful she is, and I never fib about that.

          And not only is she aware of this post, she helped with it and just read your comments and got a good chuckle. She agrees with you on the dork part. I think she’s just piling on at this point.

          • Chana says:

            I don’t think anyone who knows Yitzchak would say he’s a good actor. He’s one of the worst actors out there.

            I’m glad she’s laughing at you, it probably helps keep your ego from over-poofing. And as long as she’s reading your comments, I guess you can’t fib about whether you tell her she looks beautiful or not. I trust that if you *were* fibbing, she would know…it’s called wife-antennas…

            I don’t know, the model looked too stupid and out-to-lunch to be your wife.

            She helped with it probably means found the first picture and told you what to write. I think. I hope.

            • Funny. You’re right more than you might know. We were just at church today, and we were discussing how inappropriate it is for so many women to wear leggings or yoga pants to Mass with their behinds so exposed. We seem to agree on that. We talk about how much more I prefer the look of dresses, which she takes to heart and wears often. In any case, our constant talking and chatting and joking means that she really can believe me when I tell her how she looks.

              I think it also helps her to realize that when I notice other women, it’s an analytical or aesthetic notice, and nothing more. I save any desire for her, and it has always been so, but finally, after 33 years, she honestly knows it to be true.

              And you’re right about the laughing, too! But it’s long past mocking. It’s an endearing, side-eye, bubbly laugh. There’s no pleasure like making your wife laugh hysterically so she can barely breath, until everyone else in the room is rolling around on the floor. What a blessing!

            • Thank you, Chana! I wish the very same for you and Yitzchak! 🙂

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