Natalie Maines: Psycho Chick


Some people are so demented, so removed from reality, that they function as pretty good truth detectors.  If they hate something, you can be pretty sure there’s something good and true about that thing.  Natalie Maines of the alleged musical group, The Dixie Chicks, is one of those people.

It’s not really her fault, you see; Natalie Maines is a crazy bitch.  Almost everything she knows is wrong.  Not just a little bit wrong, but horribly, insanely wrong.  If you spent enough time with her, you’d find out that she’s fully aware of it, but she can’t stop.  That’s why she was willing to kill her career and ruin the lives of her bandmates in 2003 when she insisted that they direct almost all their energy at opposing President G.W. Bush and the war in Iraq, against the saner voices of virtually the entire community of country music, including fellow Democrats Toby Keith and Willy Nelson.  Oh, and the entire U.S. Congress, during one of their rare united moments.

cac7-Dixie-Chicks-Donald-Trump-with-HornsIt’s why you heard almost nothing from Natalie Maines during the tumultuous years of Barack Obama’s tenure, when our debt more than doubled and ISIS made it’s magical debut on the World stage and most of the jobs in the entire USA evaporated and people on both left and right have become so desperate that they seem to only want to burn down what remains.  That’s when Natalie has chosen to speak out once again: against Donald Trump.  That’s when she chose to perform in front of a giant picture of the man with devil horns and a beard and express how horribly he offends her.

Well, with all due respect, Natalie, I choose to take seriously your proven role of “truth detector.”  I will take exactly the opposite advice that you give, because if you hate some dude – any dude, and think he’s the Devil incarnate, then he can’t possibly be all that bad.  In fact, I’ll be willing to put my life in his hands and also the lives of my family, so great is the proof that your opinion sucks.  You keep doing what you do, Natalie, dear.  Bless your heart.  I’ll keep doing the opposite.


About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Hippy Fucks, Hollyweird, Liberal Fucktards, Music. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Natalie Maines: Psycho Chick

  1. Adrienne says:

    Hard to believe she’s actually married to a man. I’ve never liked the Dixie Chicks. According to Wiki she practices Transcendental Meditation, which is a great way to open up your mind to evil.

  2. LL says:

    To me, she has always represented comic relief. I wonder whether the damage was caused by trauma (being dropped on her head as a child), if it’s a genetic thing (being in-bred or perhaps her parents are batshit crazy), or hormonal (in a Bruce Jenner reverse). However I don’t choose to inquire further. The laughs are enough.

    • Part of the comic effect is that she often brags about being something of a contrarian. Normally, one is proud of being a contrarian because of the discerning power needed to find truth that the majority misses. Instead, Natalie has the comic ability to find the rare cases where the majority actually displays some common sense, and she vigorously demands that they go batshit. Because contrarian.

  3. Jules Smith says:

    When an artist has the stage he sees himself as God. I’m rather disappointed that she has claimed the title of “Psycho Chick” – I was gunning for that. Never listened to her music but I’ve heard she’s a bit of a gobshite. I don’t understand why she’s trying to look like Elvis, either….. I’m going to Nashville next week for the CMA Festival. I promise not to sell her any of my songs; not that she’d care for them since they’re all about smutty birds and Alpha males. Still, I won’t cave.

    • LOL, Jules! She does kinda have that Elvis look in the promo pic. But you are far too sane to be a bona fide psycho chick. And that’s a good thing, because psycho chicks don’t care a whit about Alpha males or smutty birds. Their art is contaminated by their psychosis instead of complemented by it. Your art is much more pure, I think, and the offbeat only makes that better.

      BTW, I apologize for my massive ignorance about London. When we mentioned our son being there, I said he was in the East End. That was foolish. He’s near Shakespeare’s Globe(Gielgud) Theater near the Southwark Bridge which is east-central London, but I’m sure no one calls that “East End.” Also, you mentioned Stratford, and he’s nowhere near Shakespeare’s birthplace in Warwickshire, of course.

      Did you get our email, by the way?

      • Jules Smith says:

        You make a very good point. I’ll go with off beat. 🙂

        Oh that’s OK – he’s in a nice area. Yes, he’s a way off our Will’s birthplace but tell him to visit Stratford, it’s only about 45 mins by train and a town well worth the visit. In fact, if he wants a list of worth visiting places, I can waste his time for AGES. I hope he’s enjoying himself.

        No I didn’t receive anything. Please can you send it again?

  4. GrimmCreeper says:

    Geez Grunt, them’s a lot of words to say quite simply Natalie Maines sucks.

  5. Brig says:

    Never have cared for Natalie or her music.
    Give me any day…

    • Brig, you gave me one of the best gifts ever! I just came in from working fenceline all day, fed the dog and myself, and sat down to think about all the family and friends who aren’t here. I just put my wife and youngest son on a plane this morning for some family business, and oldest son is in Europe, and daughter and grand-daughter are back east. Your awesome James Blunt music video made me think joyfully of all of them! The woman with the long silver hair was so much like Gruntessa. James Blunt reminds me so much of the oldest son, also named James and also a singer (student). You’re a dear. Thank you so much! And I hope you and the old man and anyone else at your place this weekend have a wonderful evening! 🙂

  6. woodsterman says:

    Do people still pay to watch them?

    • A few do, because they are currently touring. I can’t imagine why they would pay for that, really. Must be the pink hair country music crowd. I may have spelt ‘country’ wrong there, possibly, as well.

  7. papabear1950 says:

    Grunt, Just like those who want the name of the Washington Redskins changed so it’s not offensive, (I heard they will drop “Washington” from the name), I think the group Natalie is in should rename their band to more accurately convey what they contribute to the world. My suggestion is “The Dixie Douches”.

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