Some people are so demented, so removed from reality, that they function as pretty good truth detectors. If they hate something, you can be pretty sure there’s something good and true about that thing. Natalie Maines of the alleged musical group, The Dixie Chicks, is one of those people.
It’s not really her fault, you see; Natalie Maines is a crazy bitch. Almost everything she knows is wrong. Not just a little bit wrong, but horribly, insanely wrong. If you spent enough time with her, you’d find out that she’s fully aware of it, but she can’t stop. That’s why she was willing to kill her career and ruin the lives of her bandmates in 2003 when she insisted that they direct almost all their energy at opposing President G.W. Bush and the war in Iraq, against the saner voices of virtually the entire community of country music, including fellow Democrats Toby Keith and Willy Nelson. Oh, and the entire U.S. Congress, during one of their rare united moments.
It’s why you heard almost nothing from Natalie Maines during the tumultuous years of Barack Obama’s tenure, when our debt more than doubled and ISIS made it’s magical debut on the World stage and most of the jobs in the entire USA evaporated and people on both left and right have become so desperate that they seem to only want to burn down what remains. That’s when Natalie has chosen to speak out once again: against Donald Trump. That’s when she chose to perform in front of a giant picture of the man with devil horns and a beard and express how horribly he offends her.
Well, with all due respect, Natalie, I choose to take seriously your proven role of “truth detector.” I will take exactly the opposite advice that you give, because if you hate some dude – any dude, and think he’s the Devil incarnate, then he can’t possibly be all that bad. In fact, I’ll be willing to put my life in his hands and also the lives of my family, so great is the proof that your opinion sucks. You keep doing what you do, Natalie, dear. Bless your heart. I’ll keep doing the opposite.