Scientists Agree: Barack Obama Has the Temperament to Be a Parasitic Flatworm

flatworm

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s no Nobel Peace Prize, but Barack Obama has a new honor to brag about. Scientists have named a parasite after him – and there’s no worming out of it.
Meet Baracktrema obamai, a tiny parasitic flatworm that lives in turtles’ blood. A new study officially names the two-inch-long, hair-thin creature after Obama.  Read more at Breitbart.

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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16 Responses to Scientists Agree: Barack Obama Has the Temperament to Be a Parasitic Flatworm

  1. solaratov says:

    That’s kind of a crappy thing to do to a worm. Stuck with a name like that!

  2. fredd says:

    Not enough legacy in this flatworm thing. What really would cement Obama’s legacy is to substitute the “f” word with Obama. In this manner, we could change the nature of cursing as follows:

    “Obama you.”
    “Obama off.”
    “what the Obama..?”
    “Go Obama yourself.”
    “All Obama’ed up.”

    And so on.

    • That’s genius, Fredd. The only thing I’d suggest would be to go with his first name, ‘Barack’ instead of ‘Obama.’ I just think it sounds better.

      “Barack you!”
      “What a ClusterBarack.”
      “Barack off!”

      Also, FUBAR still would be pronounceable. BUBAR.

      Shouldn’t we also replace the S-word? Then we could say things like:

      “No Barack, Sherlock.”

      I like that.

      • barnslayer says:

        I just came in from the bathroom. Mexican food for lunch. I had to take an obama.

      • Papabear says:

        Grunt… you are BARACKKING me, right. What an insult to scat, (the turd, not the music genre). How about renaming an enema to “evicting Barack”, or “you don’t know the difference between Barack and Shinola”. Or when something goes terribly wrong, “well THAT’S the Baracks!” I can see the day when “that’s a STEAMING pile of bull Barack” is an oft-used euphemism for the normally scatological repartee.
        The one negative about this concept is that lamont (barack insane obama) is such a narcissist that he would see it as an HONOR. It would perpetuate his legacy, (Barack for brains) for hundreds of years. Well, I really don’t GIVE a Barack about the whole subject.

  3. Zilla says:

    Which of the two Obama parasites is most destructive to the host? Probably not the one in the turtle blood.

    • Probably not. But I feel like the other Obama worm is WORSE than just a parasite. More like a serial killer who locks you up in your own basement for 8 years and abuses you at gunpoint, trashes your house and empties your bank account while playing golf as you starve to death.

  4. LL says:

    The flat worm has a far more winning personality and I’m sure that it doesn’t lie.

    Maybe somebody named Obama after the flat worm instead of the other way around. An insult to the worm.

    • Oh, I don’t know Kenyan tradition, but I’m quite sure ‘Obama’ means “Master of the Kingdom of Earth and 33,000 Concubines and Lord of Righteousness,” or some such BS. As you say, the other worm doesn’t lie nearly so much.

  5. JCscuba says:

    Wow my friend, thanks for contacting me, I’ve just book marked your site, We are on the same beam, feel free to grab any of my posts. I’ll be doing the same with link backs to you. Thanks J.C.

  6. Miles Long says:

    Heh…it’s mouth & anus are in the same location

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