Hillary’s Metal Object Mystery Solved


Gruntington Post (New York) – Speculation grew feverishly on Sunday about a mysterious metallic object that was clearly seen – and heard – on video falling from the cuff of Hillary Clinton’s pants leg as she was dragged into a waiting vehicle by aides after “not feeling well” during the 2016 World Trade Center Memorial event.

The mystery appears to be solved by a still photo taken by a bystander shortly after Clinton’s entourage roared off to daughter Hillary’s apartment but before NYPD officers were called to retrieve a “lost shoe” that was misplaced in the street during the incident.  The photo, shown above, indicates that the missing shoe was still attached to Hillary’s mechanical cyborg leg for minutes, standing upright in the street, until NYPD personnel retrieved it.  The small mystery cylindrical object is also visible in the photo, and appears to be a retaining pin or fastener that holds the leg in place on Hillary’s mechanical knee joint or perhaps her robot torso.

The photographer has not been named and said only, “Just take it.  I’m too young to be suicided or die mysteriously from natural causes.  Obamacare don’t pay for that, anyway.”


About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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15 Responses to Hillary’s Metal Object Mystery Solved

  1. Jules Smith says:

    The machines are taking over… who knew that they could catch pneumonia though?

  2. JCscuba says:

    Indeed, what a great way to start my day, Thanks, taking it to my spot will link back to you,

  3. solaratov says:

    I believe that what slipped out may have been her sacrificial dagger…which she uses to rip the still-beating hearts out of young virgins as a sacrifice to her master.

  4. LL says:

    That’s photographic evidence…you can’t get any better than that.

  5. GrimmCreeper says:

    The slab of lard lost her shoe. What’s all the fuss? Her campaign will explain that she was practicing her role as Cinderella for her grandchild’s nursery school play. Good luck finding a Prince Charming.

  6. papabear1950 says:

    I envision a movie based on shrillary now… “RoboCankles”, starring Honey Boo Boo’s mother, Jabba June, in the lead role. (Word has it she’s slimmed down to the size and weight of a standard Super Duty Power Stroke F350, so DAMN what a “babe” (the ox from Paul Bunyan)).

  7. I thought she was possessed but now I know she’s a cyborg. Possessed cyborg?

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