Cultural Appropriation Alert: How Come Alicia Keys Gets to Wear a Turban?

Having been made newly aware of the horrible crimes being committed by people stealing cultural treasures from other ethnic groups by reading shitty valuable authors like Yasmin Abdel-Magied, I was duly shocked to watch The Voice tonight and see Alicia Keys wearing this:  WTF, right?

alicia-keys-without-makeup-the-voice

aliciakeysdresshatsturbant_npkkaesjzlDon’t be fooled by the fact that Ms. Keys is only half white (from her Italian, Irish, Scottish mother).  Her other half still doesn’t come from anywhere that happened to invent the custom of turban-wearing.  Her father is from the Hell’s Kitchen part of NY City.  Not exactly Mecca or Punjab.  Here’s another from a different event (at right).

Let’s not forget that the cultural appropriation police do not exist solely to prevent Irish people from wearing sombreros and german-descended midwesterners from eating Thai food they don’t deserve.  This strange sect of social justice war-making (SJW) supposedly exists to protect ANY cultural heritage from being stolen and used by over-privileged people who are unrelated and undeserving of it.

panama2So, I say, massively-privileged and half-anglo Alicia Keys is wholly undeserving of wearing that goofy-looking turban.  Did she just convert to the Sikh religion?  Is it her grandmother’s ancestral Hell’s Kitchen sewing club turban?  Unlikely.  Is it one of her mother’s Italian family heirlooms?  Heh.  Don’t make me laugh.  If anything, it was more likely her Scottish heritage that’s responsible.  The Scots have always been innovative and tasteful in their fashion.  No lie.

But, it gets worse.  Much worse.  Do you see the headgear Ms. Keys is wearing to the left here?  It’s a Panama hat.  That’s right; invented in central America, another place where Alicia Keys from NY City has no claim of any cultural heritage whatsoever.  Will the madness never end???  Who will stop this inappropriate cultural headwear theft?  I’m sure if you asked anyone attending the Emmys the other night, they’d be quite sure it was Donald Trump’s fault.  Why not?  But I’m going to blame it on Michelle Obama.  She is the First Lady of Fashion, after all.  It’s her job, and no doubt many fashion crimes have been committed under her watch.  Most of them by her.

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About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
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52 Responses to Cultural Appropriation Alert: How Come Alicia Keys Gets to Wear a Turban?

  1. LL says:

    Cultural appropriation can only be committed by white males. Everyone else is exempt. The turban makes her look a bit like an African slave. I think that’s the look she was going for.

    Is it true that Michelle Obama formed an “unholy” attachment to Harambe, the now dead gorilla and that his death at the hands of a sniper was to silence him? ;^)

    • Not at all. Harambe knew too much about Hillary Clinton. Nobody dies that fast without a Clinton connection. 🙂

    • Margie Sims says:

      Oh would you ever stop. Cultural appropriation is a made up thing to separate even further black people from white people. The world is evolving, people! Trying sharing cultures instead of restraining it, otherwise it will die out as soon it was invented! See this week Keys was wearing pigtails and a bandana like a native Indian when she isn’t even one! Is it wrong , i don’t think so, and no black person would say she was wrong. But the minute a white person does it everyone goes f-ing cray cray! Get over yourselves!

      • Meg says:

        That’s not at all the point. It isn’t trying to “separate even further black people from white people”, whatever that means. The issue at hand is that individuals come from the middle east to America and are called terrorists. They’re harassed on the streets for wearing their cultural garb, what is familiar and comfortable for them. Some of them are literally even killed. Meanwhile, Turbans are now some sort of white-girl trend, being sold at Urban outfitters and wherever the hell else. A white person is never going to be singled out or discriminated against for wearing a Turban. That’s the point. Sounds like you should maybe hop down off of your horse and give it another thought. Have some consideration. Is it really the end of the world to have some respect as a privileged white girl by not wearing a turban?

        • Um, no. I don’t agree. It’s a mistake to lash out at “privileged white girls” or anyone else, and seek some kind of revenge by telling them they can’t wear something because it “belongs” to a particular culture. It might make you feel good in a perverse way, but that’s not the answer to achieving a more colorblind or equitable society. Where does it stop?

          I work in a very diverse part of coastal Virginia, and it’s had racial problems in the past, but I like the way the black gentlemen there have a tendency to raise themselves up, no matter who’s around, and dress well. Not like pimps; they dress with dignity. Good clothes, dress shoes, ties, fedoras. Nobody tells them how to dress. They do it because they want dignity, and their dignity is not diminished because some white girl walks by in an African pattern blouse.

          • SIL says:

            Color blindness doesn’t get anyone anywhere. Simply put, America is built on centuries of racial oppression and divide. Until systemically racial oppression is not existent systemically, it is damaging to pretend that race doesn’t exist because American society is structured in a way that disadvantages people of color, specifically black Americans, intentionally and nonintentionally. So yes, you may treat everyone the same regardless of race, but America is structured to do the opposite. It is important to acknowledge this and the history of racial oppression to understand why white people are granted enormous privilege in this country in comparison to people of color. Listen to and learn from people of color who are willing to teach you, and give them positions of power to make institutional changes because only they know what’s causing them harm and how it can be remedied.

  2. Jules Smith says:

    Oi! Are you saying I can’t wear my cowboy hat cos I’m an English bird, then? Do you want me set Cowboy Church on you? 😉

    I’m hoping this was comment was laced with sarcasm: “The Scots have always been innovative and tasteful in their fashion. No lie.”

    • Hahahahaha! I knew you would catch on to the Scottish fashion statement! Good eye, Jules. But the whole thing was laced with sarcasm. The “cultural appropriation” movement is just a really bad joke and deserves nothing except a stiff punch in the face. What a bunch of shitlords, eh? You, my dear, may wear cowboy hats and boots anywhere and any time you like, with the blessing of cowboys everywhere.

  3. I wasn’t worried about the turban Alicia was wearing. It was Miley Cyrus’ clothes that caught my eye. My gosh talk about gross clothes. Whoever came up with that should be shot.

  4. Solaratov says:

    Maybe AK is a “trans-Sikh”. That would explain the turban.

  5. Marlene Edmead says:

    Some times women wear hats or turbans because they like the style. It may be interpreted any way you like but you make it some cock and bull theory about cultural crossover. Turbans force you to look at her beautiful face much in line with her decision to not wear makeup. For women it is a style that frees them from hair worries. As a woman born in Harlem 83 years ago of mixed racial roots I love the turbans!

    • Of course! And that’s the point. You should be free to wear whatever you like. And surely the turban has been a practical and flattering choice for women since the world began. It’s not me, but people like Yasmin Abdel-Magied who have been telling people they can’t wear things that are not “culturally appropriate.” I was merely making fun of her by pointing our how silly it is to demand such things. If you’d like to know what I’m talking about, simply google the term “cultural appropriation” and read the articles that come up. Some of them will be a surprise to you, I’m sure.

  6. I just finished my lunch of six Greek egg rolls, which I picked up at a restaurant downtown. (They have all kinds of egg rolls there, but the Greek ones are the best.) The gal who runs the place is an American-born person of pallor who appropriates whatever culinary cultures she fancies, and she does it very well, which is why her place is so successful that I have to wait in line. Sombreros, djellabas, kilts, kimonos, dashikis, turbans, etc. are all welcome there. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before the anti-cultural-appropriation brigades mount a protest, but I doubt they’ll get very far before the place’s patrons pick them up and deposit them in the nearest dumpster.

  7. Euripides says:

    In respect of other cultures, I have vowed to only eat American food. Last night I had kung pao beef and egg rolls. The night before, I had street tacos. Yep. It is culturally insensitive to even think about appropriating other cultures.

    • You’re a very sensitive and awesome dude, Rip. I’m doing the same. I just ate lunch today off a very American burrito truck with “Fat Bastard Burritos” on the side of it. If that’s not American and appropriate for me, I don’t know what is!

  8. I was pretty upset to see Ms. Keys wearing a turban and a panama hat.

    Then I realized she was a Scottish woman of color.

    Grunt, don’t be a hater!

  9. Brig says:

    I don’t care what she wears, but then I don’t know who she’s supposed to be.
    Have to laugh, my husband’s very stylish aunt from back East(NY & Pawley’s Is) would come out here and take us all out for a night on the town. Invariably in would walk a gal with a cowboy hat on and boots, and auntie would say, “Well, that’s sure a wannabe, trying way too hard.” . I’m sure the others thought the same thing of us in our clothes. Fun to see what people think makes them look good.

    • Absolutely. In reality, SJW sarcasm aside, I see nothing wrong with her headgear, at all. Being the daily uniform of working women all over the world, rather like the cowboy hat is here, it seems like the kind of thing that I could respect. But, of course, the post wasn’t even really about AK at all. It was about the idiots who give her a pass on everything while giving the rest of us crap about everything.

      • Brig says:

        The idiots who give us crap, and people like her a pass, do it because they get away with it. If we ignored the idiots, they would quit with this stuff, that or frighten the heck out of them( choose your method/weapon). I don’t watch TV, other than the occasional baseball game with Dad, so I’m behind the times and I don’t really know who AK is, but then nor do I care.

  10. wally says:

    She looks like she just hung laundry out to dry.. She looks so horrible..

    • Gene says:

      Of course she can wear what she wants. And because she is a strong independent woman she will pay no mind to what I think. She looks like Aunt Jemima. I can only guess that Alicia is a liberal and insofar as she is, I apologize to Aunt Jemima.

      I don’t discriminate. I make fun of any idiot regardless of skin color. Libs look at people and say, “You can’t say this or you have to do that” because of the color of someone’s skin. Because libs judge others based on the color of their skin and not the content of their character, that makes liberals racists. It’s nothing new. Been like that at least since the colonies.

      • Hey, one of my great-great-great grandmother’s names was Jemima! True story.

        Liberals are bizarre. I just watched a little MTV the other day for the politics, and they worked in 2 Hillary endorsements in under 5 minutes, but the worst thing was a “History Lesson” about how racist our country is that included reports of black lynchings in northern states (like Oregon) “as recently as 1925.”

        So, that was almost 100 years ago, but we need to talk about that NOW and not the BLM activists dragging white people out of their vehicles in Charlotte and killing them, YESTERDAY??? Those people have some perspective to achieve.

  11. Kathleen Ross says:

    You are an insolent idiot! I am a Irish/French catholic with no turban history but wore many different turban styles when I had cancer and lost my hair due to chemotherapy. Maybe you should get a life and realize what fashion really means!

    • You misunderstand me. I’m parodying the people who think this way. I agree with you. Demanding that people have the “appropriate genes” (usually meaning non-white) to wear certain things is foolishness. And reverse racist. You, of course, have my blessing to wear whatever you want, and that’s the way it should be.

      • barnslayer says:

        C’mon Grunt. You’re supposed to know in advance, all the permutations and combinations of meaning your words might be twisted into.

      • SIL says:

        Racism is defined as race prejudice + power. As people of color have no systemic power, there is no such thing as reverse racism.

  12. barnslayer says:

    We won’t be watching The Voice this season. Last year was bad enough with the late appearance of disgusting Miley. But this tears it. Might as well have Mooch on or film it at the UN General Assembly.

  13. Arleen Smith says:

    I agree about Mrs Obama but I am sorry that I don’t agree with you about Alicia Keys. I believe she is a women with honor and integrity who is wearing what she feels comfortable in. I don’t believe that she is trying to be an imposter.

  14. carousingcat says:

    Sweet Jesus, this is serious?
    You silly silly woman. I could handle this all the way until your little Panama Hat moment.
    hahaha
    Literally everything is borrowed from other cultures….one has to respect the traditions and values of everyone.
    I suppose you next article will be about people who don’t ride skateboards wearing Vans footwear.

  15. Dee says:

    Lol haha I love Alicia Keys

  16. SIL says:

    Alicia Keys is half black. Head wraps have historical background, rooted in sub-Saharan Africa. American female slaves were forced to wear the headwraps as a badge of slavery in order to maintain the power dynamic between Caucasians and black Americans. Please do not call women of color privileged in the context of race. Yes, she is half white, but that does not negate her father’s African American descent. I do not want to speak for her experiences, so I will state that in America, people of color who are not white passing are absolutely not granted white privilege. Please do research before publicly publishing work of this nature.

  17. TDC says:

    This amateurish, ignorant article sounds like it was written by a kkk kindergarten drop out.

  18. Izora Sandler says:

    Your a turd! This is not a turban and African Americans have been wearing head scarfs like this for 400 years with rags. So go pound sand.

  19. MerakiGirl says:

    Love the satire… but it’s a head wrap, not a turban. The history of the head wrap is a long and complex one. It was used in Apartheid South Africa to keep black women oppressed as it was not optional when black women were made to wear a “doek” (Afrikaans for cloth) over their heads. The “doek” is a much simpler form of head wrap.

    • Thanks, that’s interesting. Despite my satire angle, I actually respect the vast and ubiquitous history and culture of the headgear. What everyman grunt like me could ever disrespect useful gear like that for working folk through the millennia? You’re ok, MG.

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