Smedley Butler Ruined My Marriage

Image Warning: This post contains images of simulated stuffed animal violence.

I’m not talking about Major General Smedley Butler.  He died in 1940.  I mean the US Marine bulldog mascot named after the good general.  He’s a real, live bulldog with the rank of Lance Corporal in the Corps, which outranks all the newly minted privates graduating from boot camp, a distinction that is not lost on them.

The background story here is that I’ve been dogged (heh) by a little point of contention in my marriage for the last five or six years.  Gruntessa collects stuffed animals, and at some point she decided that, in addition to the several dozen decorative pillows that every woman puts on her marriage bed, we needed an animal to ‘guard’ the bed during the days.

smedo

She chose a furry, white hen that was originally a gag gift from my sister, who actually has a pretty funny thing going on gifting and re-gifting breathtakingly ugly pig-shaped pottery, cat teapots, cow gravy boats, large metal yard chickens and the like.  For the last half-decade, I’ve put up with this, but I made a mistake by complaining about it back when I was blogging on the Conservative Treehouse.  They gave me a lot of grief, and for years afterward, Waltzingmtilda would still tease me about it with something like: “You still sleeping with a chicken, Romeo?”  But not anymore.

smed1

While in San Diego picking up Grunt son #2 from boot camp, I bought a Smedley stuffed bulldog mascot ‘for’ Gruntessa.  She loved it.  When we got back, I quickly put Smedley on our bed and ‘lost’ the chicken.  But not for long.

smed2

WTH?  How did that chicken get back there?  Gruntessa must have put it back.  This will not stand.  Smedley is nothing but Always Faithful, and he answers to me.

smed5

smed6

smed7

So, happy ending.  Finally.  Until…

smed2

Dammit, Smedley!  You’re a Marine!  This betrayal will not go unremembered, Mutt!

Advertisements

About GruntOfMonteCristo

Fearless and Devout Catholic Christian First, Loving Husband and Father Second, Pissed-Off Patriot Third, Rocket Engineer Dork Last.
This entry was posted in Americana, Bloggers, Military. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Smedley Butler Ruined My Marriage

  1. fredd says:

    Don’t you have some important Hillary-bashing to do, Grunt?

  2. Adrienne says:

    I like them both, but, more importantly, I admire the tight bed spread. A very well made bed.

  3. Brig says:

    Goes to show what a piece of fluff and a mirrored headboard can… a a ah never mind, none of my business….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s