No Wonder Milo Can’t Appear with Jessica Valenti for Fear He Might Slug Her

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Grunt’s Friday Night Movie Micro-Review: The Man from UNCLE(2015)

Officially a flop, the 2015 Man from UNCLE film by Guy Ritchie and Lionel Wigram remains a very stylish and satisfying cold war adventure.  I’m not the only one to think so; it was very popular among audiences.  Though, a grim proportion of reviewers found it ‘boring’ and the story unappealing.  What do you expect in a time of nonstop action and genocide by Death Star?  People get bored easily.

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But, I was not bored with the subject of this movie.  I was around in 1963, roughly the time this takes place, and it successfully captures many of the things that were exciting about that time.  Things like Team Lotus and Grand Prix racing and French beauty Francoise Hardy (below, with a Melania Trump-like wry smile) and the most beautiful Ferraris ever made and cold war intrigue and JFK and the Cuban Missile Crisis.

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Most of those things aren’t specifically in the movie; it just evokes them.  Just saying.  And, ok, I just threw that photo of Francoise Hardy up there because I felt like it and also because blogger C.W. Swanson put up a similar photo recently and reminded me of her.  But there are kick-ass F1 race cars in the film.

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Some critics were actually seduced by the film.  James Berardinelli of ReelViews called it “one of those rare instances when a sequel wouldn’t just be warranted – it would be welcomed.”  I concur.  The words ‘stylish’ and ‘skillful’ come up a lot.

Because this is a micro-review, I won’t describe the plot, but there is some very good location shooting in and around Rome, Italy, and around the UK.  The cinematography is quite good, and the stylishness of certain scenes is worth the price of the BlueRay disk.  In particular, a boat race around the Vinciguerra estate near Rome involves a mesmerizing scene set to music where Napolean Solo finds himself sitting in a truck, eating another man’s lunch and drinking his Ruffino Chianti while trying to decide whether to save the Red Peril (Armie Hammer) from drowning.  There is also an enormously creative Nazi torture scene that succeeds in being both sickening and hilarious.  Not at the same time; in sequence.

The only drawback for me was the odd casting decision to concentrate all the talent and beauty on the male side of the cast list.  Three of the most god-like and fittest actors on the planet (Henry Cavil – literally Superman, Armie Hammer and Luca Calvani) were cast alongside Swedish actress Alicia Vickander as UNCLE teammate and Elizabeth Debicki as villainess.Man1j.jpg

The ladies do a wonderful job – too good, actually.  Though a beautiful young actress in her 20s, Debicki performs so well as an aging and glamorous mafiosa, she comes across as too repulsive to lust after.  And, though it’s clear they were trying to go for a Jean Shrimpton style of 60s cute girl chic with Vikander, she broods through the whole thing and ends up more like a little sister than a “Bond Girl.”  The result is that there is no real leading lady character in a movie that desperately needs the glamour of a strong leading lady to counterbalance the pretty boys in it.  Otherwise, though, this film will help a few glasses of Johnny Walker Black disappear very smoothly and stylishly.

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Cecile Richards Hits the Road After a Successful Austin Women’s March

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If You Thought Trump’s Meetings with Obama Were Awkward, Wait Until He Gets to Reminisce with Justin Trudeau About Justin’s Notorious Party Mom

Rebel Media’s Ezra Levant is pretty sure that the “Madame X” Donald Trump describes in his second book is a thinly veiled Margaret Trudeau, notorious party-hound wife of Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.  Trump’s account, which takes place in the mid 1970s in Manhattan, involves some explicit remembrances of (apparently), Madame Trudeau on a couch with a friend of Trump’s.  The evidence is pretty compelling, actually.

This revelation comes at an embarrassing time for the young Justin, soon after it was widely speculated around the time of Fidel Castro’s death that Castro may have been Justin’s father. You see, the resemblance is rather shocking, and Justin is inconveniently tall to be related to father Pierre. Further, Justin’s mother, Margaret, spent a great deal of time in the 1970s generating scandal after scandal for being an absentee wife and hard-core partier.

Even though the young Margaret was enchanted by the Cuban Revolution and engaged in world travel with her parents just before she was married to the 30-years-older Pierre, it’s really unlikely that Justin could have been sired by Castro. He was born very soon after the Trudeaus married in 1971, and the opportunity probably just didn’t exist.

Surely though, Trump will be discreet with Justin about his parentage, and it’s very unlikely he will let on that he’s seen Justin’s mother naked on a couch in Manhattan shagging a stranger before getting half-way through her first martini and then dancing the night away at Studio 54. Besides, Justin knows Barack Obama well, and it’s not like all kinds of people in Hawaii didn’t see Barack’s notoriously slutty mom naked. So, it’s roughly: Canada-1, USA-1, really.

As a quick aside about Fidel Castro, you may note in the twitter image above that Fidel flirted shamelessly with Margaret, though it was after Justin and Michel were born. In the quote above, you see that fidel claimed to have failing vision that he hoped to improve by forcing himself to stare at the sun for a few moments every day. Read that part over again and see if you can figure out how someone that patently stupid could get himself established as dictator for life and father dozens, perhaps hundreds, of children.

Cross-Posted at Nox & Friends.  To read some of the comments from over there, just click below:

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Posted in Canada, Donald Trump | 13 Comments

Pompeo Finally Seated; Schumer Shamed

Chuck: “Yeah, I’m a liar, but where were you 8 years ago when we were trying to get Obama’s appointments confirmed?”
Tom: “Eight years ago I was getting my ass shot at in Afghanistan you pathetic lying prick.”
(Ok, I paraphrased slightly. – Grunt)

Posted in 'Murica, Congress | 8 Comments

Beta-Male of the Year Awarded Early for 2017

And it’s only January.  And he’s from Seattle.  Who would have guessed?  But really, folks, this one is a sure thing.  It doesn’t get more humiliating than this.  Watch this Seattle-ite Hillary Hag get thrown off an airplane in Baltimore after the inauguration, and then see if you don’t feel some empathy for the husband.  No?  Just a little?

Even after this walk of shame?  The poor guy looks like he is trying to induce a heart attack so as to avoid any more humiliation… and possible jail time.

I know that’s already internationally viral, and it’s already being shown everywhere, but I can’t help posting it. Just so damn satisfying. Here’s some of the background from C.W. Swanson’s wonderful Daily Timewaster blog:

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Posted in 'Murica, Liberal Fucktards | 10 Comments

Sean Spicer Calls Second Press Conference to Discipline Media for Grossly Undercounting Number of Democrats Ogling Melania at Inauguration

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Washington, DC – President Trump’s Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, wasted no time today letting the White House Press Pool know how it was going to be for the next four years.  Even after widespread complaints among the reporters from most networks for Spicer’s critical tone during yesterday’s press conference, the White House was at it again.

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The First and Second Ladies of the USA

Spicer rebuked CNN, in particular, for circulating doctored photographs that downplayed the impact that the First Lady’s entrance had among democrats seated in the VIP section to the right of the podium.

Spicer tersely began: “First of all, it was unprofessional to photoshop out the profusely bleeding cut on former President Clinton’s forehead after his wife hit him in the face with her cell phone.  That was simply unnecessary.  The whole nation knows about the ongoing struggle that they face whenever beautiful women are present and they are in public together.”

He continued.  “But the most irresponsible part was removing many of the leering faces from the photos they released.  It just gives a false and misleading message about the impact the First Lady is having on the Washington community, and the nation.  It also falsely suppresses the large numbers of high-ranking Democrats who should probably be listed sex offenders.  People think Joe Biden is the only one, and this is simply not the case.  Thank you.  Please address all questions via email to former SecState Clinton’s personal account.”

Cross-Posted at Nox & Friends.

Posted in 'Murica, Democrats, Humor, Media Whores | 7 Comments